comparatives

1. The only thing worse than a loud cell phone talker is a loud cell phone talker dramatically rendering a rather undramatic story about how she managed to catch her train by offering a license-less cab driver fifty bucks to get her to union station. And then hanging up and dialing someone else to tell the exact same story.

2. The only thing worse than a line cutter is a line cutter who proceeds to hold up the line because she has not had her i.d. checked like those of us in line, and whose i.d. is swimming around somewhere in the dark depths of a massive Louis Vuitton backpack.

3. The only thing worse than someone talking loudly about how tall you are is someone doing so because they need you to reach something for them. And then the loud talker turns out to be someone who works at the grocery store who needs every bottle of balsamic vinegar all the way to the back of the top shelf, the last few of which are unreachable for even the tallest of women. And then the person thanks you by encouraging you to apply for a job there.