I like to think of myself as a fairly good host. When someone visits I'll try to have their favorite drink on hand and make sure they have clean sheets and towels, and I try to prepare something yummy. But my guests are usually courteous and fun. You know, they offer something in return, like funny stories or financial advice. Good company. But you are the worst. You take everything and give nothing. I don't blame you for wanting to take those pancakes I ate last night, because they were fluffy and delicious. But then you decided to take EVERYTHING left in and around my digestive system, all at once, including the acid, the bile, the oxygen. Get out of here, you impatient, greedy fuck. And take this fever with you.
sincerely,
your host
